This one act musical comedy premiered at Manhattan Theatre Source, August of 2007.
CAST: Pete Aguero, Sharon Fogarty*, Hope Garland, Bonnie Lee*, Rachel McPhee, Denise DeMirjian*, Matthew Porter*, Thomas Rainey* and Debra Wassum*. (*Members Actors Equity Association).

PADB features Nora, a theatre artist who attempts to bleach out her talents and pursue a corporate career. Her failed marriage with Prince Charming, however, forces her back into her dark artistic roots.

MAC ROGERS, playwright extraordinaire writes: "I saw the legendary Sharon Fogarty's PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A DUMB BLONDE. A new Sharon Fogarty musical is always a treat, to be in the hands of a truly idiosyncratic artist of genuine feeling who speaks a thoroughly personal language of music and stage physicality. The key to understanding Sharon's work is to recognize that she's unashamed of revealing her influences, and sometimes quotes them directly, but always rearranges them through her sensibility. ... a gripping portrait of a woman learning to channel the forces of grief and self-pity into useful tools she can use to pull herself back into life." 

DREW BELLWARE, Cinematographer writes: "Portrait of the Artist as a Dumb Blonde" playing now at Theatresource not only has the best title of any show I've ever seen, it's also beautiful and transcendent. I'm a little embarrassed that she would write and perform a show about all the secret things that I, and only I, have ever felt and never told anyone about. Or wait, no, the entire audience feels she's made a play just for them. Individually. I love Sharon. It's OK. I admit it. I want to have her baby." 

BRUCE AGTE, Poet writes: "Never have I been more impressed by a person's courage than I was last night by Fogarty's. She have been pushing my awe button for a very long time now, but this new show was a little beyond that. I kept thinking of the American Transcendentalists; Thoreau, Emerson. Whitman. She is the American Transcendentalist that I have had the unbelievable pleasure to know. In her shows, she turns turpentine into wine. She is the ultimate generous soul. I know of no-one on Earth who can express more faith through a deliberate creative process which synthesizes an antedote to heartache."



This is one of my favorite songs from Portrait of the Artist as a Dumb Blonde, sung masterfully and gospelly by awesom possum Debra Wassum in her portrayal of the character named ACCEPTANCE.

All you need is a little acceptance
to put you on the right track
Simple understanding that deep in your mind
you know he ain't never coming back.
Yeah for you it would be better in your head
to host a funeral and imagine that he's dead
Yes I wish that you would practice this dance
And just accept rejection and not reject acceptance.

Silly as it sounds with all your meaningless deception
You just need to make the tiniest adjustment perception
it's kind of like adopting a new philosophy
it's kind of like adopting somebody else's baby
take it from me I'm in a constant state of freedom
my thoughts are my own and I’ll be the only one to lead 'em
you'll save a life time of tears if you could just take this chance
you must accept rejection and not reject acceptance

NORA: but I feel, he's coming back he didn't mean to say goodbye
ACCEPTANCE: Yeah when hell freezes over and pigs learn how to fly
NORA: But I never would believe he could do such a thing to me
ACCEPTANCE: Well the more you disagree the more your pain is gonna be
NORA: can't I make a deal with him and say I'm sorry, that I'll change
ACCEPTANCE: that will surely end your future like a murder at close range
NORA: How can I consider acceptance...
BOTH: When I/you only want to get in his pants?

ACCEPTANCE: All I'm saying, baby is you can drive yourself insaner
Unless you let a little piece of me inside of this no brainer
you might start feeling better just as early as tomorrow
if not you will be visited by boredom, pain and sorrow
Letting go and grieving is like kind of a death
But then you need this sad bereaving like you need to take a breath
- if you could open up a window in your world of ignorance
- if you could focus on your spirit and suppress this romance
- if you could break out of this bullshit pattern hypnotic trance
you could accept
NORA: I could accept
ACC: you could accept
NORA: Except, except
ACC: You should accept rejection
NORA: No, no, no...
BOTH: Then you’ll/I’ll reject acceptance!

by Sharon Fogarty (c) 2007


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